My Calling

What is my calling?  Have you ever asked yourself that?  For me, it is leadership development and I try to apply it to every job that I have in the Army.  It may seem like second nature to apply leadership development to every job in the Army, but sometimes it can be a stretch.  For example, staff jobs can give you tunnel vision to the point where you're focused so much on the next brief to prepare or the next operation to plan that you lose sight of developing the subordinate leaders around you.  I used to fool myself into thinking that I wasn't influencing anyone around me in terms of leadership development because everyone was simply stuck in the staff vacuum focusing on their own thing.  However, after a while I realized that as an officer, you are a leader 100% of the time regardless of your job.  The rank on an officer's chest means that Soldiers are looking at him to set the example at all times.  It doesn't matter if you're a LT making coffee for the battalion S3 or a CPT writing an operation order, Soldiers around you still see you as a leader.  I sometimes doubted this fact until I heard Soldiers complain about a lack of standards with a various staff officers.  This meant that there was still a higher standard they expected from these officers although they were not in official leadership positions.  It's up to an officer to find the opportunities, which may be few and far between, to create more leaders by developing those around him.

So fast forward to my current job as a military science instructor at West Point.  This seems like a no brainer in terms of having a chance to develop future leaders.  However, a 55 minute class period is not a whole lot of time to cover the class material of warning orders, operations orders, tactics, doctrine, etc.,  This means that actually talking about leadership development seldom happens in the classroom unless I take less time to teach the required material.  As my time management improves, I hope to take 5-10 minutes each class to talk about leadership in general...but I'm not there yet.  In order to answer my calling in this job, I have found that there are many opportunities to work with cadets outside of the classroom.  These are the opportunities to talk to them about what to expect in the Army and why their development at West Point is so important.  These are the moments that give me purpose in this job.  Teaching military science is great and the cadets need that knowledge as a future officer, but my true passion is helping them develop as leaders.  It is music to my ears to hear a cadet talk about ways he can improve as a leader and then see him start to apply the changes to his daily routine. Or to see the look on a cadet's face when the light bulb turns on and he gets excited about a leadership technique or training event to try with his subordinates.  

There are times when I may feel beaten down or mentally spent during a day, but it's small events like those above that put a spring back in my step.  While finding my calling may vary in difficulty depending on the job, I just have to look for the opportunities.  This is what keeps me going in the Army. 

BMW R1200GS

I just realized that I hadn't written anything on my blog since April...talk about dropping the ball!  But anyway, life has changed drastically since my last post.  It is all due to the fact that we are at West Point now!  Thus far, this post has been a great time for family...even when I was working with cadet summer training immediately upon arrival and when I was rehearsing all my classes that I will start teaching cadets next month.  The month of July has been a whirlwind since it includes both Leigh's and my birthday.  We bought some expensive gifts for each other (to include a mountain bike, crossfit garage gym, and a motorcycle) and we'll have to settle down next month.  But let me get one thing straight...this post is about the motorcycle!  I am ecstatic...no...I'm excited beyond words...no...I'm speechless with the deal that I received on this motorcycle.  First of all, the MSRP on this bike from a dealer is $14,990 before taxes and registration.  Add NY taxes, registration, and additional accessories and it increases the total to around $18,000.  This is for a motorcycle!!  Holy crap!!  This is why the bike has always been a pipe dream to me and nothing more.  But I thought I might buy a used bike that was in my price range.  After scanning ebay for two weeks (and the past 12 years, but who's counting!) I realized that the resale value on these bikes was amazing.  I was watching five year old bikes with over 20,000 miles go for more than $10,000 on ebay!  So I tried craig's list and saw THE bike that was meant for me.  A 2010 sapphire black R1200GS with only 1800 miles on it...and it had over $2,000 worth of accessories on it.  However, the seller wanted $1500 more than I was willing to pay.  I sent him a quick e-mail with an offer and did not expect any reply since I was kind of lowballing him.  Surprisingly, he told me that he needed the money and would sell it if I had cash in hand and could buy it that weekend.  Fast forward two days and I was riding a "like new" R1200GS home from Brooklyn in 107 degree temperatures.  Even more impressive, Leigh and the kids were there for moral support the entire time (Leigh has so much patience with me!).  After waiting for over ten years, I finally bought the motorcycle I was drooling over and it was for the exact price that I was able to pay, which happened to be close to $6,000 below the actual value.  

Making Sense of It All

"I thought I was going to die."  Have you ever heard someone say that?  Most of the time I hear someone use that phrase, it refers to "die laughing" or "die of embarrassment" or "die of boredom."  People use the phrase as a figure of speech.  Well, there were a few times in 2005 where my mind was convinced 100% that I was going to die.  Unfortunately, I mean this in the literal sense.  However, that thought did not occur at times that may seem obvious based on movies or TV shows.  When IEDs, grenades, or RPGs were exploding around us, "I'm going to die" never crossed my mind because I was too busy reacting and taking action...there was no thinking.  The true fear and dread and fatalistic thoughts occurred minutes before the next mission.  Even worse, I know for a fact that my Soldiers felt the same way.  The fear was so thick that it felt like death was riding in the truck with us.  I still remember when one of my Soldiers said, "maybe we should say a prayer," before one of our patrols.  He was not a religious person to say the least...he was quite the opposite in fact.  This alone displayed his apprehension at the time.  We all felt like it would be our last mission because the previous one was just too close and there was no way that the insurgents could get that close without killing us the next time.  It was a very heavy feeling that made me want to throw up.  As a leader, this is when you will do anything you can to lighten the mood and literally laugh at death by saying things like "If you're the one that doesn't come back, can I have your DVD collection?"  or "Quit your whining, at least you'll die in a clean uniform!"  God bless the resiliency of Soldiers!  In the movie, Band of Brothers, 1LT Ronald Spiers tells PVT Blythe, "The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function: without mercy, without compassion, without remorse.  All war depends upon it."  I understand this quote more than I would like to.  In order to get rid of the fear, you need to accept that you might die and come to terms with it, then you can move on and execute the mission. 


So what is the point of all this?  Why did I write about the events in my past three blog posts?  It's actually very simple.  I am still here because it was in God's plan.  Losing all the baggage from the deployment took a couple years, but it was God who gave me strength to get through all of it.  He also gave me an amazing wife and three beautiful children to constantly remind me of his plan.  I know he has been watching over me and even if I die tomorrow, my only worries would be for those left behind that I will meet again someday.  If you doubt that it was God who was beside me, then all I can say is that I know how my life was before I embraced Jesus Christ and I know how it is now that I have accepted him as my Lord and Savior.  There is no way I would ever want to go back to a life without him.  
  
So what about those who did not make it back on that deployment?  I think about them every day.  The Bible says "The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death." (Isaiah 57:1-2)  We may not know God's plan or how we fit into it, but that doesn't really matter as long as we know HIM.  Now when I think of the past turmoil, it only increases my faith in God because I know that he is not done with me yet.  I couldn't think of a happier ending to all these stressful stories.       

Vulnerable

10 Aug 05:

We hit an IED today.  I thought Letcher was hurt bad at first and that fear was mind numbing.  We were driving west on a main route through the city and Roddy saw some shop owners quickly shutting their doors while others were simply running away.  Letcher saw something under some concrete slabs in the median on the left side of the road.  He realized it was a 155mm artillery round and was about to say something when all of a sudden we heard a loud explosion and felt a powerful concussion.  The cab of the HMMWV was instantaneously filled with black smoke and dust and we could not see anything.  The windshield had a jigsaw puzzle of cracks in it but none of the shrapnel penetrated the ballistic glass.  The dust in the cab was so thick that we were having difficulty breathing but no one dared to open a door in case there was another IED set up for a secondary blast.  Finally the dust started to clear and I realized that we were still rolling forward and the BFV that was in front of us was now about two feet away on our left side and a telephone pole was approaching rapidly from the front.  I told Roddy to stop and back up away from the telephone pole so we could get out of the kill zone.  I kept yelling “Is everyone okay!?” Roddy responded with “I’m okay” and Mr. T (the interpreter) said he was fine.  However, the blast had thrown Letcher down from the gunner’s turret and he responded with “I have shrapnel down my back!”  I didn’t see any blood, but I thought he said “I have shrapnel in my back” and when I saw him try to get back into the turret and fall down, I feared the worst (He fell again because he was still stunned and shaken up from the blast).  I told the patrol leader that we needed to get to Patrol Base Razor, but as we started to move, Letcher said he was okay, but just had some shrapnel fall down his back and it burned him.  So I told the Bradley that was escorting us that we did not need to go to Razor.  They dropped us off at a nearby OP and went back to secure the IED site.  I got out of the truck and assessed the damages to be three flat tires along with a cracked windshield and a cracked side window.  Most importantly, no one was hurt and that was all that mattered.  After returning to the patrol base, Doc Alladin sent Letcher to Razor in order to get a 2^nd degree burn on his back checked out.  It was a patch a little bigger than the size of a silver dollar.  They bandaged it up to keep it free from infections and sent him back.  

Just Another Day in Samarra

18 Feb 05:

We had just finished visiting a school with White Platoon in order to see if the principal needed any funds for supplies and everyone was loaded up in the HMMWV to drive away.  We started moving south when we heard a loud explosion that rocked our vehicle.  My gunner was momentarily blinded from the dust and smoke that was kicked up and all of our ears were ringing.  I told my driver to drive about fifty yards out of the immediate area and then I got on the radio and asked the Bradley Fighting Vehicle (BFV) behind us if he saw what the explosion was.  He said an unseen insurgent had lobbed a grenade over a wall to our east and a squad was being dismounted to clear the building.  It was common for insurgents to try and lob grenades into the gunner's hatch of HMMWVs and thankfully this guy missed and it landed beside our truck.  Our vehicle had a flat left rear tire and the rear window on that side had a few pock marks, but everything else was fine.  They didn’t catch the insurgent who threw the grenade, but I was thankful that my crew was okay.      

An Expensive Alarm

FYI...This is simply cut and paste from the document.

23 May 05:

Two VBIEDs and one suicide bomber wearing an explosive vest hit the patrol base in a coordinated attack.  I was woken up by a loud explosion around 0600.  I jumped out of bed and was instantly gagging on dust that had been kicked up by the explosion.  About twenty seconds later, another larger explosion rocked the patrol base and blew almost every door in the building off its hinges, including ours.  Maybe fifteen seconds later, another explosion went off, but this one wasn’t as large as the others.  It rattled the walls a little, but that was it.  I was sleeping in my DCU pants, so I quickly threw on my boots and ran to the CP.  The hallway in between our room and the CP was filled with dust and smoke, but I could still see okay.  The CP was a complete mess.  The sandbags on the window had been blown down and there were glass shards all over the floor.  Power was out in the patrol base since the blasts had taken place about thirty yards from the two massive generators behind the compound.  The two radio monitors on duty were still dazed from the explosion.  Chairs were knocked over, papers that were previously organized on desks were strewn all over the floor, and the dust was so thick that it was difficult to breathe.  I ran to the room next to the CP, which is where all my Soldiers slept, and found them getting all their gear on to go man previously planned battle positions on the perimeter of the patrol base.  I ran back to my room, threw on my flak vest and ACH, and then headed for the roof for a better view of the damage.  The roof was crowded with Soldiers taking up battle positions dressed in flak vest, ACH, and whatever clothing they were sleeping in when the attack occurred.  I made my way to the southeast corner of the roof and looked down at the carnage that lay below.  The first bongo truck loaded with explosives had used the neighborhood south of the patrol base as cover to get as close to the T-wall barriers as possible.  It detonated about ten feet from the wall and knocked down twelve of the T-walls.  The second explosive laden dump truck was close behind the first, but the roof guard quickly recovered from the first blast and opened fire on the second truck.  The driver detonated the VBIED about twenty yards from the perimeter once he started taking fire.  This was the blast that provided the most force because the truck was loaded with over 800 lbs of explosives (according to EOD).  The black smoke and dust was so thick that the roof guard, SPC Burgos, could not see anything, so he simply fired into the security breach created by the first VBIED.  The suicide bomber was supposed to run through the breach into the barracks and detonate his explosive vest, killing as many Soldiers as possible.  However, the roof guard’s suppressive fire struck him as he ran through and he detonated his vest when he had made it about five feet inside the perimeter.  Body parts and internal organs from the suicide bomber and the VBIED drivers were strewn around the area.  LT Pelletier had a large pile of intestines fly through his window and land at the foot of his bed.  There was no doubt that the actions of the SPC Burgos saved the lives of multiple Soldiers.  The first blast blew him back inside the bunker and he wasn’t able to see anything when he recovered.  His quick decision to fire blindly into the security breach resulted in the second VBIED detonating outside of the patrol base.  He was also knocked to the ground by the blast from the second VBIED, but he recovered once again and continued firing in time to hit the suicide bomber.  M88’s were quickly employed to lift the T-wall barriers back into place and more fortifications were added to the outer wall to withstand future attacks.  Several walls in the patrol base were cracked from the force of the explosions and the sandbags on every window were knocked down.  The cracked walls were unfixable, but all the sandbags were immediately replaced.  Engineers visited the patrol base and said the structure was still strong enough to withstand multiple explosions, so we acted like we had a choice and continued using the complex.  This proved to be true when three mortars scored a direct hit on the roof of the patrol base about two months later with no major damage or casualties. 

Finding Comfort in Past Turmoil

When I redeployed from my first tour in Iraq in late December of 2005, I had a lot of mixed feelings about what I had been through.  To be completely honest, I was mad at God for allowing some of the things that I witnessed to even happen.  God had blessed me with a beautiful wife and child, but I felt cursed from the things in Iraq that I retained in my head.  When Leigh, Meg, and I went to Monterey, CA for grad school, it was a much needed break from another deployment and we were truly blessed to be given the opportunity.  However, among other things, I remember that I still couldn't stand to be around loud noises and especially fireworks.  On the 4th of July, I would listen to my mp3 player late into the night to drown out anything that resembled gunfire or small explosions.  Additionally, I was still very pessimistic about God's will and how some scenes of death were able to fit in his plan.  A couple months after the NPS academic year started, I was invited to a men's Bible study led by Bob Reehm, a man in the Navigators who dedicated his life to bringing people to Christ and also helping fellow believers to regain their focus.  Eventually, I was able to discuss my inner turmoil with Bob and he recommended that I write down all the close calls I had in Iraq and to use them as a testimony of how God was watching over me.  The macho side of me kept saying that thousands of Soldiers had gone through tougher situations so I was not going to feel sorry for myself.  I know for a fact that I was one of the guys on PB Uvanni in Samarra that had it easier than most.  Infantry platoons went out on combat patrols everyday for up to 12 hours a day while I would join them for a portion of that time based on my own tasks...so who was I to have pity on myself?!  However, Bob finally convinced me to type up some of the past events on my computer.  To my surprise, the venting helped a little bit and, through God's grace, I began to cope with the situation.  
Fast forward almost six years and I found that document in my external hard drive while on my third deployment.  Based on the timing, it was a sense of comfort that came over me as I was reminded of how God had protected me in the past and I believe he will this time as well.  I came to terms with death a while ago when I was finally able to place my complete faith in God and his will for me.  Now I only fear death for those around me who do not know Christ.
My next three blog posts will include some of the stories that Bob convinced me to write about, but I will not post the blog to facebook afterward.  This is not something that really applies to the hundreds of facebook friends that I have only seen in the fickle online world, but mainly for those who know how my life has changed for the better ever since I truly placed my faith in God.  The future is as bright as ever! 

Competition

So I was standing in the Command Post (CP) today and one of my Soldiers walked up to me and asked,"Sir, what did you score on the run?"  We have an Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT) coming up a couple days before I change command which means everyone in the battery has one last chance to beat me.  I thrive on competition and I have tried to instill a competitive spirit in my battery as well.  I told the Soldier my run time from the previous APFT and he still wasn't done with his questions..."And what about the pushups Sir?" He continued to ask for my scores on each event and once he tallied them up in his head, he looked at me with a smirk on his face before declaring, "I'm going to beat you Sir."  I gave him a confident look (I hope it looked that way) and said, "I hope you do beat me, but I'm not going to just let you."  That Soldier does not even have a score in the top ten in the battery, but I have a confession to make.  It made me nervous.  Is he doing some kind of insane training that I am not aware of?  What does he know that I don't?  And this is why I love a competitive environment...no matter how well I did on the last APFT or what my physical standing is in the battery, I always feel like someone is on my heels.  I am usually the last person to talk any trash, but I welcome it when my Soldiers talk trash to me.  I have less time during the day to train than my Soldiers, but one thing is for sure, that comment today will help me to focus during the time that is available.  I just wish I was this competitive with academics, wait a second...no I don't.   

Morale in COIN

As leaders in the Army, we are paid to think rationally and remove emotional thought as much as possible when there is no need for it.  The emotional side is necessary for motivating Soldiers and pushing a unit to its full potential.  Pride is more emotional than rational and getting Soldiers to take pride in the unit and in their leadership means we need to strike an emotional nerve with them.  However, tough decisions as well as maintaining morale in a monotonous COIN environment require a lot of rational thought.  In contrast, emotional thoughts usually force Soldiers to pursue some kind of unobtainable closure after a SIGACT.  In the COIN environment, seeking closure means doing something that you might regret since it would have detrimental second and third order effects within the operational area.  So basically, emotionally fueled decisions might lead to a false sense of closure that truly leads to no progress in the long run.  Therefore, emotional thought must be suppressed until each patrol is over and Soldiers are in a safe environment.  They can then unload their emotional concerns and frustrations to leaders in a productive way.  Leaders who avoid these venting sessions will see morale gradually decrease.  

While on patrol, Soldiers in general (not all of them) think emotionally, which means they base a lot of decisions on how they felt during the last deployment when a SIGACT occurred.  These emotional thoughts based on past experiences tend to overshadow the rational thoughts which tell them that their current environment is not the same as the last one.  If leaders do not constantly remind them of the differences between their past experiences and the current environment, then they will continue to fight yesterday’s battle which no longer applies.  When I say constant reminders, this means EVERY patrol.  Leaders must break Soldiers away from the muscle memory that was learned in a previous kinetic environment.  If a Soldier has PTSD, it simply adds to the emotional drama that ensues when he thinks about past experiences while operating in the current environment.  I believe that almost everyone who has experienced the stresses of being on the ground in a hostile zone will develop some form of PTSD, but some cases are more severe than others and each person deals with it in a different manner.  The quote “the anticipation of death is worse than death itself” is true and must be taken into consideration.

It is extremely important for leaders to give Soldiers an outlet to release the emotional strain that comes from the restraint they are currently displaying on daily patrols.  These outlets should include lots of physical challenges, socially interactive activities like platoon roasts, academic studies, and anything that makes them laugh.  Uncontrollable laughter is an extremely effective stress reliever.  The possibilities are only limited to a leader’s willingness to think outside the box.  The absolute worst thing a leader can do is complain about the mission to his Soldiers or show anything more than empathy when they are venting to him.  If junior leaders need to complain, they must bring it up to the command group and we will let them complain as much as necessary.  Relevant and rational issues must be addressed and TTPs might change accordingly.  Communication is crucial which means leaders at the platoon level must keep the battery leadership informed when new challenges or issues arise.  Taking care of the team, both mentally and physically, is THE priority at all levels.        

  

One Foot in the Grave

I officially felt old today.  I guess it's a random chain of events that led up to this feeling, but the straw that broke the camel's back was when I fell down while running this morning.  It was a typical run out on a lightly traveled road and everything felt fine.  Then I tripped and fell to the pavement like a sack of shi...uh...potatoes.  Let me clarify something.  I do not fall down while running, plain and simple.  Trails with roots jutting out of the ground and rocks everywhere-No problem!  Sand with random objects everywhere-Bring it on!  Smooth and flat paved road with not one obstacle in sight-Flat on my face!  There wasn't even anything to trip over!  Trust me, I checked everywhere in a frantic attempt to save my ego.  I quickly got up, looked around to see if anyone saw me, then acted like I meant to do it.  One truck that was passing by happened to see me and I just held my head in shame as the driver looked at me like I was mentally challenged as he drove by.  And even worse, I can't make up a good story for my jammed finger because someone saw me!  Normally, I would just tell everyone I tripped over an insurgent and I jammed my finger as we fought to the death.  "Who won?!!" my Soldiers would ask and I would reply with, "Well who's the one standing here telling you this story!?  I said it was to the death didn't I!"  But no, a civilian contractor had to see me.  To add insult to injury, the jerk probably had a "26.2" sticker on his rear window, but I didn't check.  I should have just laid in the prone position on the ground and acted like I was conducting an IDF battle drill.  If I yelled "Incoming...Get Down!"  it might have made it more believable as well.  But I didn't do any of that and now that driver has a funny story to tell his other contractor buddies who make $100,000 a year to supervise LNs cleaning bathrooms.  Do I sound bitter?  You know...kind of like a grumpy old man?  Take note, this is what a prideful man sounds like when he has been humbled.  Hold on a second, my Depends are chafing, I'll be right back.

Have a Little Faith

C.S. Lewis wrote that "faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.  For moods will change whatever view your reason takes...that is why faith is such an important virtue."  Have you ever met someone who is so educated, wealthy, or gifted that they think they are above placing faith in God?  I find this ironic because when it comes down to it, even an atheist must have faith in something.  The problem is that they mistake their emotions and changing moods for reasonable thought.  They are the makers of their own destiny and no one deserves any credit for their achievements accept for the person looking back at them in the mirror.  All I can say is that they are setting themselves up for a pretty big fall because if they deserve all the credit for their accomplishments, then they are also left all alone to deal with their immense failures that will inevitably occur.  I have failed at many things and my faith in God made me realize that it was always for a specific reason.  Whether it was to make me stronger for success at a later time or to gain perspective on life, God has always given me strength.  Failure creates “changing moods” and we need to hang on to our reasoning which has accepted that God is real.  “Reasoning” God’s existence can be a lengthy process for some and an immediate acceptance for others, but it is the end result that matters the most.  

God has blessed me immensely.  I hate to quote a Garth Brooks song, but I do thank God for unanswered prayers.  I have an amazing wife and three beautiful children and it never would have happened if it was up to me.  In order for me to meet Leigh, I had to go through several defining moments in my life that seemed to be huge failures each time.  Let me put it this way…they were failures, but God still turned them into eventual blessings.  After looking back at all the disappointments and how the stars had to align just right for me to end up with the life I have today, it would be irrational to think everything was just a coincidence.  Anyone who thinks that he got where he is today on his own accord is giving himself way too much credit.  People may ask, "what about the poor homeless guy holding a sign that says 'Give me money because I'm too lazy to earn money in a job that I don't like, so I'm going to beg for money instead.'" (That's a long sign!!)  In life, there is faith and there is temptation...and we have the God given free will to pursue either one and even both of them if we so choose.  However, consistently giving in to temptation will eventually overshadow your faith and before you know it, your free will has led you to an unfortunate place that was your choice when it comes down to it.  The homeless man begging on the side of the road (many of which are not actually homeless) has made several choices in his past that eventually led to his current state.  The Good News is that with faith in God, it is never too late to recover no matter how bad your situation may seem.  A little faith will go a long way.

Guess how far I can run!!

So I was sitting in my office today when a random thought just popped in my head.  Have you ever been driving around town and, while waiting at a stoplight, saw a little sticker on the back of someone’s car that read “26.2” or “13.1?”  Were you impressed that he could run that far or did you just think to yourself “Yay..the light finally turned green!”?  This is why I have never understood the reason for putting stickers like that on your car.  Does the driver want you to get out of your car, walk up to the driver’s side window, motion for him (that’s right, I said “him” because everyone knows that women are not capable of running marathons…it’s science) to roll the window down, and say “Hey, way to go man!!  You did it!”?  Ironically, most of the vehicles with these stickers are vans being driven by moms with children in the back who really don’t want the extra attention from strangers.  Most of them would probably freak out and have no idea what you’re talking about.  Not very impressive if you ask me…she can run a marathon but can’t take a compliment.  
Additionally, why would you brag about finishing half of anything to include a marathon?  You never see the 25 y/o McDonald's fry boy bragging about finishing his sophomore year of high school...it is half after all.  Just get a sticker that says "I quit at 13.1"  
What if a guy in a wheelchair bought a used car that had a sticker like that on the back?  Would you call him a liar or just make him take it off?  The next time I see a car with a sticker like that, I guess I’ll just slash the tires so they can start training for their next marathon.                  

Why?

So why would I start a blog?  I never really thought I was the type, but maybe I was just in denial.  I guess I used to think that "bloggers" were the same people who played World of Warcraft all day in a dark room with the curtains shut and referred to themselves as "gamers" with all their imaginary online friends.  (To all you "gamers" out there, no offense meant but I'm sure some will be taken, keep living the dream!)  Honestly, I still think that is how blogging started...but a few brave souls with social skills paved the way for everyone else.  Then blogging became the cool thing to do and all the gamers are now having the last laugh.  Well, not really, because they are now 15 years older and their toughest decision of the day is whether to buy a cow in Farmville or what to feed their imaginary keychain pet.  So maybe blogging is not THE cool thing to do these days, but to tell you the truth, I don't think I have the lack of morals to do what kids are calling cool these days.  I know I might be coming off as a pessimist, but people who know me would never say that...to my face.  I like to think of  myself as a conservative realist with a blunt sense of humor.  Like most people who start a blog, I have probably fooled myself into thinking that there are some people who might actually care what I have to say about things.  I guess only time will tell.  The main reason I am starting a blog is because I feel strongly toward several things about life in general.  Some are specific to the Army, some are specific to family, and most are simply how I view the world and the people around me.  So yes, I'm starting a blog to write it all down.  I might get tired of this after a couple days, but who knows, maybe the online venting will decrease the rate at which my hair is falling out.  So welcome to my blog, please wipe your feet off and close the door so you don't let all the cold air out.