One Foot in the Grave

I officially felt old today.  I guess it's a random chain of events that led up to this feeling, but the straw that broke the camel's back was when I fell down while running this morning.  It was a typical run out on a lightly traveled road and everything felt fine.  Then I tripped and fell to the pavement like a sack of shi...uh...potatoes.  Let me clarify something.  I do not fall down while running, plain and simple.  Trails with roots jutting out of the ground and rocks everywhere-No problem!  Sand with random objects everywhere-Bring it on!  Smooth and flat paved road with not one obstacle in sight-Flat on my face!  There wasn't even anything to trip over!  Trust me, I checked everywhere in a frantic attempt to save my ego.  I quickly got up, looked around to see if anyone saw me, then acted like I meant to do it.  One truck that was passing by happened to see me and I just held my head in shame as the driver looked at me like I was mentally challenged as he drove by.  And even worse, I can't make up a good story for my jammed finger because someone saw me!  Normally, I would just tell everyone I tripped over an insurgent and I jammed my finger as we fought to the death.  "Who won?!!" my Soldiers would ask and I would reply with, "Well who's the one standing here telling you this story!?  I said it was to the death didn't I!"  But no, a civilian contractor had to see me.  To add insult to injury, the jerk probably had a "26.2" sticker on his rear window, but I didn't check.  I should have just laid in the prone position on the ground and acted like I was conducting an IDF battle drill.  If I yelled "Incoming...Get Down!"  it might have made it more believable as well.  But I didn't do any of that and now that driver has a funny story to tell his other contractor buddies who make $100,000 a year to supervise LNs cleaning bathrooms.  Do I sound bitter?  You know...kind of like a grumpy old man?  Take note, this is what a prideful man sounds like when he has been humbled.  Hold on a second, my Depends are chafing, I'll be right back.